Could You Write Erotic Fiction?

red-lip-kiss-mdNow then, I have news for you, of a saucy nature.

Ann Summers is running an erotic fiction writing competition (closing date 23rd Jan! Quick!). They want you to write a ‘steamy story’ in 750 – 1000 words and the first prize is £1000 and there’s £500 for each of the two runners-up!

Yes, loadsa dosh. But the downside is, you can’t hide behind a pseudonym – or at least, not as far as I can see from the rules, so if you’re scared of what your mum might say, don’t enter but if you’re feeling brave, then why not give it a go? It could be the start of a whole new career. 50 Shades of Grey, and all that…

It reminds me of the time I was at Caerleon Writers Holiday a few years ago. The lovely Cwmbach Male Voice Choir sang their little hearts out for us and there was a speech and various presentations beforehand, as it was the last night of the holiday. In her speech, Anne, one of the organisers, mentioned all the different types of writers that had been at ‘Writers Holiday’ that year – poets, playwrights, thriller writers, short story writers and even, one or two who wrote erotic fiction…

Well, later that night, as the boyos were getting on to their coaches to go home and a few of us were loitering around the car park (as you do), to wave them off, I got chatting to one of the choir members (and please bear in mind, he’d been in the bar for about an hour before they all got dragged out had to leave). “What is it you write?” he asked me (in a strong Welsh accent). “Oh, please, please.. say you’re the one that writes erotic fiction!”

Well, of course, I had to disappoint him (I think I just laughed coyly, so he never actually knew the truth..) but YOU could be that erotic writer!

And, as they say in all the best Morecambe and Wise jokes, we won’t hold it against you.

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10 Responses to Could You Write Erotic Fiction?

  1. Never written erotic fiction before, might as well have I go I suppose.

  2. Pingback: Writing Erotic For The First [And Probably Only] Time [Contains Content Some May Find Offensive] | Writing and Works

  3. Julia says:

    Ooh, now there’s a challenge. Are you entering? I’m far too coy!

    • My first reaction was to think ‘no way!’ Julia.. but overnight, the thought of those lovely prizes.. and, ahem of course, the challenge it would offer me as a writer, to dabble in a new genre… is starting to make me think ‘maybe’… (by the time 23rd Jan has been and gone I might have made a decision!)

  4. Jackie says:

    I used to write erotic fiction back in the 80s, even had a story in ‘Forum’ magazine, so I thought I’d take a look at the AS competition, despite not having written anything racy for a very long time. As far as I can tell, you can use a pseudonym. The rules state: ‘You consent to Ann Summers publishing your story, which may be edited to comply with the publisher’s content guidelines, on http://www.annsummers.com credited to the name you provide on entry.’

    However, that’s not what I’m really replying to say. Helen, I want to thank you for giving me a laugh… After reading the competition rules and the ‘Erotic Fiction Expert Tips’ on the AS website, I followed their advice to ‘find out about the Ann Summers’ erotic fiction competition and browse hundreds of sex toy reviews to discover what turns our customers on’. The first item I clicked on only had two reviews and both of those were complaints. The second item, The Ultimate O, a thing like a 3-fingered pink rubber glove… ‘with several amazing settings and a colourful LED light’, had me laughing from the start. The first review reported that it gave the lady ‘head spinning organisms’ (sic), the next couple said it would have you ‘screaming the house down’ and another said, ‘This does exactly what it says, the only concern is the lights could be a bit dimmer as they tend to light up the whole room’. I couldn’t read any more after that for laughing, imagining some kind of scene like that one from The Exorcist where the girl’s head spins round, with someone screaming the house down and watching green ectoplasm writhe by the brilliant light show emanating from the user’s crotch. Yes, being imaginative isn’t always a plus when you’re a writer! I shall have to calm the giggles a bit before I can think erotically. Once again, thanks for the laugh, Helen. x

  5. Patsy says:

    I did try erotic fiction once, when I first started writing as our (excellent) teacher suggested we try different genres and I imagined it’d be pretty easy. The result was neither easy nor pretty.

  6. philippabowe says:

    What a great post, much food for thought: I’ve never gone further than the occasional sex scene in my novel, but I do think it’s a very interesting challenge, erotic fiction, one we should probably all try and tackle at least once. I think it is a very intimate thing to do – all writing is intimate to some extent, but obviously if you’re writing about sex you plumb new depths (without wanting to sound Benny Hill about it), unless of course you go for comedy, or the old-fashioned throbbing euphemisms of a bygone Mills & Boon era….

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