In Which I Try To ‘Get a Grip!’

Do you know the difference between a bark and a vicious snarl? Yes, me too.

This morning, on our walk across the fields, placid little Bonnie and I encountered a dog that looked friendly enough but after a cursory ‘hello’ sniff, decided to launch itself at my fur-baby with a teeth-bared snappy-snarl, until my (involuntary) scream stopped it in its tracks.

This has worked a few times now. It just comes out and every single time, the aggressive dog stops and looks round in a ‘What The Hell Was That?’ way. Quite handy.

“Don’t touch my dog!” I also added (to the dog), for good effect (this was because I was embarrassed about the hysterical scream) but it did rather provoke the two women who were with the dog.

“Oh, she was only giving a little bark!” one said, dismissively and when I disagreed with this, the other one added, “Oh, get a grip!”

And so it went on. It was, quite honestly, dog-walk rage and left me feeling pretty horrible (and annoyed with myself for getting so het up).

But I am stressed – aren’t we all? – and tired – aren’t we all? – and sometimes it just takes one little thing, as was demonstrated this morning – to send me over the edge! Eek. I need a ‘Don’t Mess With Me’ sign around my neck.

Anyway… breathes deeply.. let’s talk about something nicer.

Like the fact that the new village magazine ‘The Voice’ has now featured 2 of my short stories and are ‘begging for more’!

Of course, I’m not getting paid for these; they’re all stories that have already been published (some time ago) but, as I didn’t sell all rights, the copyright still belongs to me and I can do what the heck I like with them. Including, giving them to the local magazine for free.

Full Fart story. The world needs more of these.

And (*childish alert*), I was sent a copy of the Swedish magazine Allas yesterday, as I had a story in it.

I flicked through, as you do, wishing I could read Swedish (they have some fabulous recipes, for example) and then I spotted another story – not one of mine, I hasten to add – and here it is, in all its glory!

Made me laugh, anyway.

I looked up the title using Google translate, which may or may not be very reliable and apparently it means, ‘Full Speed in Peace and Quiet’ which may become my new mantra – rather than ‘get a grip!’

Christmas Flash Fiction

Loathe as I am to start using the ‘C’ word – I have muted it from my Twitter feed, I kid you not – I have discovered a nice little (free!) Christmas competition that might be of interest to you and here are the details:

Weird Christmas Flash Fiction Competition

You have until 2nd November to email your weird flash fiction Christmas story (max 350 words). There are (cash) prizes and you can enter as many times as you like. It’s fun! It’s an American site but anyone can enter (in fact, last year’s winner was from the UK).

Have a look here for all the details – and a link to last year’s winning stories (they are seriously weird! But … mostly … in a good way!). Good luck if you decide to enter!

This entry was posted in Bonnie, Competitions and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to In Which I Try To ‘Get a Grip!’

  1. Alyson Faye says:

    thanks for heads up on Xmas flash comp-

    • It looks like fun, doesn’t it, Alyson. And with your track record (for those who don’t know, Alyson won one of my random word flash fiction competitions!), you definitely should have a go at this. Good luck!

  2. Rachel Owen says:

    I hate rubbish dog walkers too. They make you feel guilty that their dog is ill behaved. They remind me of the parents of naughty children at play barns. What are you worried about they didn’t bite your child or dog that hard.

    • Yes, exactly, Rachel. They talk to you as though they think you’re stupid! Aagh. I try to avoid other dog walkers as much as possible but unfortunately we had no choice but to cross paths with that lot today!

  3. Alex G says:

    Here’s my full farted viewpoint ….
    Donating content is OK but I’d always say try to negotiate ‘benefits’ in return — eg mentions of your short story collection plus cover image at the foot of the story.
    And … though I’m sure you know this … don’t forget to register them with ALCS, providing The Voice is itself registered in the system. I donate already published articles to a charity magazine so I benefit that way quite considerably.
    Just my 2p. Feel free to throw it to the … wind. (groan …)

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