First Lines (again!) And ‘Sunlounger’ Short List

Last week in my class we talked about writing a gripping first line – ‘a hook’.

Whether you’re writing a short story or a novel, the first line is pretty important.

On that recent BBC Radio 4 programme, ‘Suspended Sentence’ (which is still available to listen to here, if you’re quick), someone says that the first line of a novel should be the equivalent of a ‘come hither’ look. (ooh err). Ideally, it should entice, tease, tantalise and make you want more…

I gave the class some first lines from novels that they probably wouldn’t recognise (ie: not ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged…’) and asked them to ‘write on’ for a line or two. And then we read the ‘real’ ones to see how they compared. Although I say so myself, it was fun.

And if you want to have a go, how about this one (which isn’t one of those that I gave the class):

‘I sat in the back pew and watched the only woman I would ever love marry another man’.*

(I’ll ‘reveal all’ at the bottom of the post).

Bridport Prize – closing date 31st May

There are just 10 days to get your entry/entries in to the Bridport Prize! Eeek – as usual, I have left it all too late but I have an existing story that I might be able to polish up a bit.

You can listen to the winning short story, flash fiction and poem from last year here. And if you only have time for one, listen to Claudia Daventy’s beautiful poem about love – ‘Alakazam’ – which conjures up (ha!) so many pictures, uses so many senses, is deceptive in its simplicity and is just…well, enviably good. (*sighs*)

And In Other News

I’ve got an interview for a part-time job (yes, another part-time job, on top of the class and my ‘tutoring’ for the Writers Bureau. If I get enough of these little jobs together, it might all add up to a half-decent income..)

PLUS, I’ve made the shortlist of a ‘chick lit’ short story competition! It’s the ‘Sunlounger’ competition. Stories had to be set in ‘a sunny destination outside the UK’ and the winner ‘will have their story published in the SUNLOUNGER (e-book) anthology alongside 30+ of the hottest names in women’s fiction as well as receive a consultation with esteemed literary agent Madeleine Milburn and take home a pink carry-on case filled with 21 travel goodies (including a Pan Am flight bag and a luxury cashmere Travelwrap!)’

Ooh ooh, exciting!

The winner will be announced on 1st June (when, funnily enough, I will be overseas myself – in Milan, hopefully in the sunshine).

Anyway, they’ve published the first few lines of each of the shortlisted stories – scroll down the page a bit. As they’re in alphabetical order, needless to say, mine is last – and they’ve spelled my name wrong but hey, I’m used to that!

There are some great first lines there. A stolen super-yacht! ‘You may have missed your wedding but you’re not going to miss your honeymoon..’ .. yes, impressive.

I’m afraid my first few lines are pretty un-hooky (yes, I’ve just made up that word) BUT the story hots up, honest and it has a rather nifty little structure which they haven’t revealed in the paragraph they’ve printed. Anyway, it’s great to be in the 10 shortlisted, even if my story doesn’t get any further. It’s a story I wrote a while ago (probably, ahem, when I was still young enough to be a ‘chick lit’ writer!!) and I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for it.

I will keep you posted….

* The opening line is from Harlan Coben’s new novel ‘Six Years’. You can read the opening few pages here.

What ‘Woman’s Weekly’ Wants (as of today..)

Writing ‘Gremlins’

Before I get on to the bit you’ve come to see, I just have a quick request. I’m writing an article about our writing ‘gremlins’ – you know, those evil beggars that sit on your shoulder when you’re trying to write, telling you it’s all rubbish and you can’t do it and who do you think you are, anyway..?

Do any of you have a ‘gremlin’ and if so, what effect does he/she have on you and, more importantly, how do you deal with the pesky thing?!

Thanks – any comments gratefully received…

Woman’s Weekly Contributors’ Message

Just had an email from the lovely Maureen Street at WW (‘lovely’ because, for once, she’s not rejecting one of my stories). It’s a letter to ‘regular contributors’ (ooh, get me. If only).

A few weeks ago, they made a plea for more 1000 word stories (can’t remember if I told you that or not?) Anyway, forget that now because it’s all changed! This is what the email says:

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the potting shed..!

Thank you for the tremendous response to our request for one-pagers. It’s been brilliant. Keep ‘em coming please.

Now we are urgently asking for 2-pagers (about 1,800 words). These can be on any theme but please avoid retirement (especially where hubby is in the way!). Also weddings of any description and stories about adoption.

And if you’d like to write something longer for Fiction Special, we’d be very pleased to hear from you. Anywhere from 5,500 words to 8,000 would be great!

OK, you can go back to your cuttings now, while you dream up a storyline!

(Ah, Maureen, if only it were that easy…)

And, blow me, if I haven’t recently sent WW a story that involves adoption (eek, that one will be bouncing back then, any moment) and two other stories that are NOT the length they’re now asking for. Back to the drawing board… (or the ‘potting shed’?)

And don’t forget to let me know about your ‘Gremlins’ please..!!

School Daze…

A few days ago, I had a ‘time slip’ moment: a glimpse of my past. 1978, to be precise.

A writing pal, also called Helen, who blogs here (and who, importantly,* was at school with me in sunny Staffordshire), recently found a letter at her parents’ house, from our school days and emailed me a copy.

It was a grovelling note from our old Home Economics teacher, (let’s call her ‘Miss D’), to Helen’s mother, apologising for sending her the wrong end of term report. In fact, the report the poor woman had received was MY report (the teacher got us two Helens mixed up).

Apparently, in the report-that-went-astray, ‘Miss D’ comments: ‘Helen spends too much time talking to her friend S. E…’ .. and in her follow-up letter, regarding the mix-up, she says, “Dear Mrs B, what can I say? Helen Yendall would certainly recognise the report as her own, for I have been trying to impress upon her that she does not reach her potential standard. Especially so, as she intends to continue into the examination stream…”

A few thoughts struck me:

1. I only have a vague recollection of this but it sounds about right. My friend ‘S.E’ and I did an awful lot of chatting and giggling at the back of the class. (Especially in Latin! Eek. I am ashamed. I got 5% in the exam).
2. Miss D sounds very ‘Jane Austen’ in her letter! Impressive.
3. Miss D – if she’s still around – would no doubt be very surprised to hear that I still count ‘Home Economics’ as my most useful ‘O’ level. (Which, despite her misgivings, I passed). I made a very edible lasagne and rhubarb crumble**, only the other day, for example! And I am, ahem, well known for my rather delicious quiches…
4. Even over 30 years later, I still don’t think this ‘episode’ is something I’m prepared to admit to my mum. (She thinks I was a model pupil!)

So, what did your school reports say? (And if you can’t remember, make it up!) Could you write about your school days, or the good/bad teachers you had? (Helen, do you remember that terrifying German teacher we had – Mr M – who made everyone in the class cry? Including the boys..?). And what about the main character in that novel you’re writing? What would his/her school report say? (If you don’t know, maybe you don’t know your character as well as you should…. )

*everyone’s allowed one adverb!
** Please note, not a lasagne-and-rhubarb crumble. That would be horrible. No, a lasagne. Full stop. And then, a rhubarb crumble (rhubarb kindly supplied by my next-door-neighbour whose wife will not allow him to eat crumble because it’s fattening).

First Lines – Inspiration And A Competition

I am pleased to report that the lovely man came from BT on Wednesday and restored us to internet, mobile and phone access! Hurrah, we have rejoined the human race.

So sorry for temporary ‘loss of service’ but I am back – and with news of the new Writers Bureau competition:

Writers Bureau competition – closing 31st May

This one is to win a fiction writing course. Well worth a go, I think! All you have to do, is write the first sentence of a novel! (You don’t need to worry about the other 100,000 odd words. How great is that?!).

The instructions are: “All we need from you is the first sentence of a novel, and as May 1st 1869 was the date that The Folies Bergere opened in Paris, that should be the inspiration for the story.”

More details – and some tantalising first lines to inspire you, here (scroll down a bit and you’ll find it).

And you might like to get some inspiration from a BBC radio programme ‘Suspended Sentence’ about writing a great first line (only available for a few more days!), which my fellow bloggers Womangwriter and Wendy Clarke have been ‘talking’ about this week. See their blogs for more details. I’m about to get my lasagne out of the microwave and listen to it myself!

P.S: Apparently, spy fiction writer John le Carre has that poster ‘Keep Calm and Le Carre On’ on his office wall. I was beginning to think the ‘Keep Calm’ stuff had had its day, but I like that one!

Morris Men & Hoovering The Lawn

Hello and I hope all my UK readers (ooh, get me) are having a good bank holiday with some SUNSHINE!

The sun has just come out here and later I’m hoping to get up to the village green to see the crowning of the May Queen and King and, more importantly, the frolicking of the Morris Men!

I have got problems with my internet connection – aagh – it’s slower than a paralytic snail, to coin a phrase I heard this week – and I can’t download photos and stuff. Hence no photo with this post, but I will add one in later. The nice man is coming from BT on Wednesday to sort it out, (hopefully).

When you haven’t got internet access, or you ‘barely’ have it, doesn’t it make you realise how dependent you are on the whole inter-web thingy?

Thursday last week was a busy day for me. I had my writing class at lunchtime and in the evening I lead a 2 hour workshop for Hall Green Writers, in Birmingham, which I had rashly described as ‘Adding Sparkle to Your Writing’. No pressure, then.

I packed it full of exercises and hoped that everyone would find something to help with their ‘sparkle’.

One of the first – and I suppose, most obvious – things I talked about was cutting out ‘woolly words’ and that includes too many adjectives and adverbs.

I see this a lot in the poetry I mark. People think that lots of adjectives will bring their work to life when in truth, the opposite is usually true: it weakens your writing. The reader can only take in so much. One or two carefully-chosen adjectives, in poetry or prose, are much more effective. Think of adjectives like chillies in cooking: less is more!

So, I gave the Hall Green writers a tricky exercise. They had 5 minutes to write about their journey to the class that evening, without using a single adjective or adverb. The results were impressive (and they sounded very ‘Hemingway-esque!): sparse, terse writing (ooh, there I go with 2 adjectives of my own, when one would have done!) and no flannel.

Then I allowed them just ONE adjective or adverb, so they had to choose carefully.

It’s worth keeping an eye on the number of adjectives and adverbs you use in your writing. As most adverbs end in ‘-ly’, if you do a ‘find –‘ly’ search on Word, it will pick them all up (and of course, if your main character’s called ‘Sally’ or ‘Billy’, it will pick all those up too!).

Right, I’m off to vacuum the lawn. It’s covered in pods/spore things from the tree in our garden and the puppy keeps EATING them – despite our best efforts to stop her. Do you think I could hoover them up??! I’m going to try anyway..

Sunshine & Something Shady…

A few things to tell you about, so here goes:

Readers’ Afternoon: Birmingham, 11th May 2013

If you live in the West Midlands or can get to central Birmingham on 11th May, you might be interested in this ‘readers’ afternoon’ (‘The Shock of Spring’ – great title), being run by Writing West Midlands.

It’s only £9 for an “afternoon of literature, discussion, and afternoon tea in the splendid setting of Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery’s Waterhall Gallery.” Four writers will be reading from – and talking about – their work.

More details here.

Printerpix ‘Sunshine’ Poetry Competition c/d 24th May

I’ve been asked to give this free poetry competition a bit of a plug, because last time I featured one of their comps, they had lots of entries from the blog!

It’s open to anyone in UK/Europe/USA. The winner will receive $100 worth of Amazon vouchers and a free canvas and the theme is ‘sunshine’. Entries must be no longer than 45 lines and must be original work. Competition closes Friday 24th May 2013. See here for more details and how to enter.

‘50 Shades of London’ – What do You Think?

This ‘opportunity to be published’ – at a cost of £50 – has been brought to my attention. It’s vanity publishing in all but name but the sad thing is, that there are so many people desperate to be published, that I reckon they will probably get their quota.

Have a look and see what you think (but please note, I am NOT endorsing this – just bringing it to your attention!)

Writing Magazine

And finally, the June 2013 issue of Writing magazine is out today (at least it is if you subscribe – probably a few days later in the shops) and I have an article on ‘using the news in your writing’ (‘Read All About It’) on page 41. Well, if I don’t blow my own trumpet, who else will?

P.S: Thanks for all your kind words about the recent mini saga competition. I will run another competition in due course and next time it will be DIFFERENT, I promise!

Shaggy Dog Tales – The Winners & ‘Judge’s Report’

As promised (sorry it’s a bit late, but it is still Sunday!), here are the results of the ‘Shaggy Dog Story’ mini saga competition. The shortlisted entries were published on the blog a few days ago.

I had 39 entries in total (13 in the ‘Newbie’ category and 26 in the ‘Open’) and the stories had to include the words: collar, dog, bone and stray, used in any shape or form.

Needless to say, there were lots of stories about dogs and there were almost as many with vicars wearing dog collars (and bones being found in dubious circumstances).

Some of the doggy/vicar stories were written very well – indeed, some of them were shortlisted – but when stories have similar themes, it’s difficult for the judge to differentiate between them.

And some of the stories started off really well but then they fizzled out. Some didn’t really end at all or ended in a way that made me scratch my head. No matter how good the rest of the story was, I just couldn’t shortlist those stories and it was a shame in some cases because they’d been so promising up to the last couple of lines.

Some of the stories read like a condensed short story. ‘Flash fiction’ really needs to pack a punch, to make an impression in just a few words and it needs to feel complete.

I know it’s not easy! So I’m full of admiration for all of you that had a go. There were some very impressive stories and without further ado, the winners are:

‘Newbie’ Category:
Hair by Amanda Quinn

The judge (my OH) liked this one because it “was concise, it painted a picture, it was complete” – and he liked the narrator’s self-deprecating tone.

‘Open Category’:
Winner: A Timely Solution – Maggie Cobbett
Runner-up: Gallows Hill by Jo Tiddy

I asked my Thursday lunchtime class to judge this one. We all loved the menacing atmosphere of ‘Gallows Hill’ – and the fact that it was a complete story – but ‘A Timely Solution’, with its clever use of the 4 words, its humour, unusual historical setting and the sneaky introduction of Dr Who, made it a clear winner. (And that’s Madame de Pompadour herself in the picture above).

So, well done, Amanda and Maggie! I’ll email you both now to sort out your prize.